Dream

Last night i dreamt about him. The person that I miss most, his presence, his smile, his voice, his spontaneous.

I was as a celebration. It was at night. The sky was dark but the lights around us lightened the darkness. Everyone was happily laughing, chatting and wearing nice and pretty clothes. I guess since it almost Deepavali and I walked at Jalan Masjid India yesterday, that is the reason why the bright color clothing and lights were all about.

I walked with someone. A friend. Around the place. It has an open place in the middle of building. the bulding is much alike in the famous hisdustan movie, Banrangi Bhaijaan where Rashika stays with her family. I walked around the path. Chatting and talking to whoever we met on our way.

Then I met my parents and some of my family. suddenly, there he was there. Appear besides me. He was wearing blue colored shirt. There was a smile on his face. Big smile. we were shocke but there was a big grin wearing on our face. I hugged him. tightly and non-stop saying his name, "Abg Ajun,, Abg Ajun". For not know how many times. He just smile. Then Umi asked, "Have you meet Marini?". His replied "Not yet." Umi asked him to meet her.

His physical was not like us. He was like a thin smoke. But I hugged him just now. I don't care and I don't want to know how. He took one of the lantern and lighted himself so that we could see him clearer.

That was it. Until that. When I woke up I could feel the tears at the corner of my eyes. I cried because I was happy to see him even it just for a few minutes. Syukur Allah pertemukan kami. walau hanya sekejap. Rindu itu terubat juga.

I wrote this because I don't want to forget about it. At least whenever I read back all my post I know I have it before.

#rinduseorangadik

Selepas seminggu....

Assalamualaikum.

Hari ini genap 7 hari Abg Ajun pergi menghadap Ilahi. Iya, arwah meninggal pada 17 Apr 2016 pada pukul 11.27am di KPJ Damansara. Arwah pergi tepat 5 bulan sebelum birthday nya yang ke 33tahun.

Sewaktu kami sekeluarga tahu arwah di diagnos mempunyai 'testiscular cancer' tahap 3 pada 22 Januari 2016, aku amat terkejut. sewaktu aku tahu tentang berita itu, mahu sahaja aku cancel sahaja trip ke Koh Li pe yang dirancang dimana kami akan bertolak pada awal esok pagi. Tapi memandangkan kami hanya plan trip itu berdua adalah amat tidak adil untuk aku tarik diri  last minute. 

Arwah mengambil keputusan untuk menjalani perubatan alternatif (taking natural remedies). Doktor yang rawat arwah adalah certified doctor. Yang membezakan dengan doktor hospital is the foods and medicine are all naturals, without- GMO, and organics. This diagnosis effect all of us. kami sekeluarga mula mengelak dari bahan makanan yang bukan organik dan fast-foods.

Setelah beberapa bulan bertarung, arwah dimasukkan ke hospital pada 12 April 2016. masa itu doktor advise untuk refer this case to KPJ Damansara or HKL becaus these two places aje yang ada specialist for cancer treatment. So, he was admitted to KPJ Damansara on the 14 April 2016 to andikastart treatment chemo but Allah swt loves him more. Arwah pergi sebelum sempat buat apa-apa treatment di hospital.

Memang susah untuk aku terima ketentuan ini tapi aku kena belajar untuk redha menerima ujian. Sumpah, aku ingat aku bersedia apabila saat ini hadir tapi rupanya aku amat lemah. Aku kena jadi kuat untuk jadi support system to my SIL and their son. Yes, arwah meninggalkan seorang anak laki berusia 4 tahun. Anak itu terlalu kecil untuk hidup tanpa seorang bapa.

Sepanjang hidup aku, kami boleh di consider as rapat. time kecil, kami banyak main sama-sama memandangkan beza umur kami hanya 2 tahun. Main lumpur, basikal, tembak-tembak di kala matahari di atas kepala bukan menjadi hal untuk kami. iya, aku memang lasak tapi semua ini aku belajar dengan arwah dan abang sulung aku. Arwah seorang yang banyak mengalah untuk aku sejak kecik sampai besar. pernah sekali aku bergaduh dengan ex-bf aku waktu balik from office and he saw it. He went back alone even we were suppose to go back together. Kami pergi kerja bersama-sama memandangkan both commuted using lrt and our offices dekat to each other. I was the one who held the car key tho he was older than me. I could not remember we ever fight when we were small. we only started argue over things last few years because i was being over-protected over my loved one.

we worked in the same office for a year and as a HR officer, he was being honest, responsible and reliable in keeping the P&C info. even i tried to korek the rahsia but he did not entertain and buat bodoh je. as a father, arwah memang pandai jaga anak. Tukar pampers, bagi makan, mandikan anak and etc. I look up on arwah on this. He might not diberikan rezeki yang murah seperti aku tapi arwah tidak pernah menyusahkan kami dengan meminjam duit. 

Rancangan Allah swt itu sungguh teliti dan cantik. Kami percaya ada hikmah yang tersirat dibalik kejadian ini. Kami sudah buat yang termampu untuk mengubati arwah dan Allah tidakkan memberi ujian kepada hambanya jika hambanya tidak terdaya. sesungguhnya apa yang terjadi sudah tertulis di Lah Maahfuz. Siapa kita hambanya yang layak untuk mempertikaikan setiap kejadian?

Abg Ajun...abg ajun pergi dengan senang, wajah mu tenang. Alia akan rindukan Abg Ajun sepanjang hayat Alia. Moga Abg Ajun tenang di sana. Moga Allah swt mempertemukan kita kembali di syurga dimana kita tidak akan terpisah selamanya selepas itu.

Dear readers, please recite Al-fatihah for arwah if you read this post. If you are wondering how are we doing, alhamdulillah we are good. we are still coping with the lost. Please make du'a for us to be stronger and may Allah ease our burden. Please also make du'a for arwah's wife and their son. Only Allah swt could repay all the du'a.

I am blessed...Alhamdulillah

I wrote this few months back when people asked why I decided to do kenduri kesyukuran

Solo trip: What is in my mind?

This is the intro for my solo trip. I try to make it as short as possible and interesting because I know it can be very boring to read long and 'empty' story.

The original destination for the solo trip is not UK. It is supposed to be Australia. That time in January 2015, I felt like going somewhere oversea for a vacation and coincidentally MAS was doing a promo. I have a cousin who is studying in Newcastle, Australia. I asked her if she will be free in August 2015 and she said her semester will open in August so there is no way that she will  ponteng class. Why August? Because I want to make it as a new journey of my 3 series life (poyo la kan!). 

Then my BIL suggested to go UK since I have few cousins there. Even after I got confirmation from my eldest cousin sister who is in Bristol that she will come back for good after August 2015 and it is okay for me to stay at her house, I still felt unsure either to proceed with my plan or not..the currency is expensive, it is not a country that I has in mind to go for a vacation, somewhere I am not familiar and I will be ALONE (i repeat...ALONE,.. SENDIRI...SORANG2). Before i purchase the flight ticket I asked permission from umi. When she said 'pergilah.' I was so happy (menari2 dalam hati). Seriously Umi boleh lepaskan the only anak dara dia yang tak kahwin lagi untuk mengembara sendiri??   

During the time I want to purchase the ticket, I still felt unsure (again!) because I need to choose between going to UK or Egypt. I somehow promise (ehem..) my youngest brother to attend his convocation which usually happen in October if he passed all his papers. Comparatively the flight ticket to Egypt was cheaper by RM500. Contemplating? Yes of course. But since my brother can't promise me to pass his exam this year and October is a busy month for me so I decided to purchase flight to UK. I cannot afford to go both.

So, yeah. That is how it happened.

Excited because naik A380 yang dua tingkat tu and yeay I am going to UK!!! A place that I berangan to go nak study :)

p/s: Another reason what made me go to UK is because I got to know that a friend of mine is going there in February 2015. 

Solo trip: not even a bit of the story

I am suppose to start writing about my trip to UK tonight. But until now I am still transferring pictures to my external hard disk. It will takes days by looking at the number of pictures that I took using my phone. This is all thanks to Capture app. I saved all pictures in the app and do not know how to transfer it to the pc (thanks to my not-so-intelligent-IT-apps-understanding too).

By the way, the write up about the trip also will take few days. I have to recall all the memories. But insha Allah, will make it happen (yeay!). Someone asking me to write it all so that he can copy my itinerary and I said he has to wait until next year (I hope not). I will force myself to make it done by this month. In fact, at least the story about my first ever solo trip will not be forgotten by myself right?

p/s: I have few overdue posts about what happened in year 2015. *sigh

When the quake hit Akinabalu

It was Friday morning, 5th June 2015...

I was at Hall 9, PICC listening to opening speech for ITS briefing from DOMS while my hand scrolling down the FB's timeline. My fingers stopped when i read the status of my friend at Facebook. Sabah was hit by earthquake, 5.9 scale ritcher at 7.15am. It hit Ranau and can be felt nearby areas.

First thing in my mind is how is my Tuaran friend? Is he and his family affected? I listened back to the briefing. However, once a while I checked on FB and Twitter to get more info. I tweeted to ask my friend's situation. All climbs are cancelled that morning. 100++ climbers stranded at the summit.

My heart broke! Ya Allah, dugaan apakah ini? Lawrance, Arnold, Jarod n another porter and mountain guide..our guide during our climbing during CNY, were they there at the summit? Are they safe?

Some might relate the earthquake with the uncivilised action by few climbers of being nude at the peak. Their actions has made the ancestors at the mountain aka Aki Nabalu angry for not being respected. For the Dusuns, the mountain is sacred.

One of the seven peaks at the mountain felt; the donkey's ears. The tremors has changed the surface. The trail will be different. Aki Nabalu will not be the same as the time i went there during CNY. Via ferrata might be just a dream to catch.

I feel sad for what had happened. Mount Kinabalu always has a special place in my heart. The experiences climbing it is one of the best experience in my life. The view, the mountain itself, the guides, the porters everything is so beautiful.

As i am writing this, the SAR (safety and rescue) team has found all the dead bodies. Most of them are school kids aged 12 from Singapore on their school trip. 4 are malim gunung aka mountain guide (2 Mountain Torq's are staffs and 2 are from Amazing Borneo's).  How the bodies are found are so..horrified (i don't know the right word to describe. Forgive me). They were the heroes to some until their last breaths. You can read more on the news in internet.

Again, i am so sad of what had happened. The porters will be jobless for three weeks due to the closure of the Kinabalu Park.i am not sure how long will the authorities stop the climbing activity. To the future climbers of Mount Kinabalu, please respect the mountain. Please obey to the instructions given by your guide. Though you are an outsider but please at least learn the culture and beliefs of the locals.

I can't imagine if i am one of the stranded climber. 9 hours up there without any foods and drinks with some rains. Thanks to the unsung heroes which is the mountain guides, they agreed to bring them down. They helped the climbers to ensure that they reach Timpohon Gate safely. Honestly, i am not surprise at all because i still remember how our mountain guide treated us during our climb. Very patient and very kind. Only Allah could repay them.

My colleague asked me, do I dare to climb the mountain again. I said yes while smiling. The earthquake will not change my plan to visit Mount Kinabalu again. But i know being there will not be the same as it used to be. For now, Aki Nabalu can have its own time and sleep. Please don't be angry anymore.

Running towards end of the finish line!

I started running in year 2010 when i was working with ProMark Strategies. The directors of the company really encourage their staffs to involve in sports. It is so obvious because both directors will hit the gym everyday. I do not remember they miss their routine unless they are not feeling well.

The company did not give lots of benefits but somehow it will sponsor the participation of the staff in any marathon or running. So, when I heard that the company is sponsoring for Standard Chartered marathon (10km) i was thinking 'hei, why not?'

After years i did not jog or run, it might sounds crazy to some of you. But yes, i would like to try. Years before, jogging is part of my life. I jogged once a week at least but since i started working i stop jogging.

So, yes, Standard Chartered marathon 2010 is the start of it. Btw, i was alone that time. I reached Dataran Merdeka at 6am as instructed even my race will start at 7.30am. Without any proper training, i ran from Dataran Merdeka to KL railway station to Brickfields to Botanical Garden to Sogo and back to Dataran Merdeka! It took me 1H 40mins to finished the race. I cannot believe i finished the race.

After I finished the race, my leg cramped. I went panicked awhile. After a while the pain gone. The next day, i went to office with pain in the a**. I felt like crying everytime i walk and stand. It hurt so much for almost a week.

My second race was Mizuno Wave Run few months after that at UPM. I hate the track. It started and ended at the hill. No more race at UPM.

Tho entering a run is tiring but it gives me satisfaction because i know how far it is, i have to finish it, how hurt my leg is i have to make it to the end. When i reached the finish line it shows that i have done my task. It is just a matter of how fast i reach the finish line.

I tried 15km run last week at TM Fan Run 2015 but i would say that it would be my first and last run for more than 10km. I think my limit is only 10km. I felt the race is never ending journey or maybe it was because my knee was hurt badly during the race.

Oh ya, my favorite track is at Putrajaya because the track is flat so it consider as easy. My least favorite is UPM. So far i have not participate in any run that start at Padang Merbok but i have registered for MERCY's which will start at Padang Merbok.

I am not a hardcore runner. I only participate in runs that charge RM50 maximum. The fee is getting expensive nowdays. I think the organizer 'untung atas angin' only. Come on you need to pay RM100 for a race? Get a life! I also participate in a race that has finisher medal. The medal is one of motivation to finish the race. Hahaha.

I will upload some pictures soon of the medals and certificates.

Andai hati ini boleh berbicara

Aku hanya mampu berdoa yg terbaik utk kamu.

Tidak ada apa yg aku mahukan selain Allah memggembirakan hatimu, memudahkan segala urusanmu,memberikan apa yg kamu mahukan.

Cukuplah setakat itu. Kalau hubungan kita melebihi apa yang ada sekarang, tiada apa yang perlu aku lakukan kecuali manadah tangan syukur kepadaNya. 

Kamu bukanlah manusia sempurna, samalah aku bukan wanita sempurna. 

Tapi aku percaya segala perancangan Allah itu amatlah sempurna,amatlah teliti yang terbaik utk kita. 

Tipulah kalau seditik pun tiada gambaraan kamu dan aku bersama kerana aku hanyalah wanita biasa yang mempunyai naluri mahu berkeluarga dan bercinta.

To you, Mr AF, I am sorry. I have to keep my feeling from you because I need to find the real love first; love to Allah swt.

6/5/2015

2.46pm

Little Angels

I love these 5 'little angles'. No words could describe or no distance could measure the feeling that I have for them.

Qalman, Una, Qayyum, Aca and Ada, Cik Lia would always pray your best.

Oh Allah, I ask you to protect these little angels from any harm. Please protect their hearts from falling into this dunya. Please make them the children that every parent wants. Please cheerish them with not only Your loves but also from people around.

I have no kids. They are the kids that I spare my loves to.

Who I am- A little piece of me

29 years ++ of living has teach me to be me. Thanks to them for ‘shaping’ me as who I am today… There are ups and downs in my life. There are times when I feel i lost place to lean and trust . To tell u the truth, I am living in a simple life. My life is consist of works Monday to Friday from morning until 8pm at night. Yeah,u got it right it sounds like I am so hardworking. Sometimes my working hours could stretch to 10pm or the latest by midnight which I assume it will only happen once a year (if it happen). My weekends is pack with study since I decided to start back what I have started, to complete my ACCA (god knows how long it has been..ishk..ishk..ishk). hence, my free time is only left with Sunday. It is a day where I wanna get some rest, stay at home, run some errands or  join any runs. Basically that is how things are with me.

One fine day after my birthday someone asked me, ‘how was the celebration last night?’. I asked him ‘what celebration?’, tried to look puzzle. I know what he meant. Dates, flowers, proper dinner n bla bla bla. I told him I didn’t go anywhere. I stayed home, celebrated it with my family, played with my nephew (the best feeling ever!). It is not true actually. No celebration, no cake cutting. Just wishes from them. That is it. What my friend replied when I told him that ‘pity you. Next year you are turning to 30 years old n yet you did not go anywhere to celebrate and still single’.

That time I felt so hurt like a knife stabbing my chest, hard to breath because I was trying to control my anger. My emotions were not stable. I almost cried. It took me few seconds before I could reply. I said ‘it is more meaningful celebrating your birthday with your family rather than a stranger’. I told myself to keep calm n breath after that. Fuh! The first person I text was my bestie. I told her it is not my fault to be single at this age, it is not my fault I didn't celebrate my birthday with a guy, it is not my fault that I am not married at this age. It is not my fault at all!!!

He does not know what I went through in finding Mr Right, he did not know how many times I cried because of one guy, he did not know how many sins I did by having a relationship with a guy, he did not how my past relationship had ruined my relationship with others, he did not know. He did not know who I am. He knew nothing about me!

Let me tell you, I never ask to be single at this age. When I was in my final year in my university, I had a plan. I planned by the time I graduate, I find a job and continue my ACCA full time within 3 years and got married after that. I planned to do all that within 3 years and I hope I will have my first child at the age of 27 years old. But as a human being, we only can plan, it is Allah who decides what best for us.

Misinterpretation

When you received information either to your liking or not please think rationally. Please absorb the information and understand every words of it. Don’t jump into conclusion. That is why I don’t prefer people to text me when they are talking about serious matter because I tend to interpret things differently. Thus, the message would not convey as what it should be.

Dear U

Dear U,

How I wish I could to tell you how much I love u

How I wish I am not afraid and not ashamed to tell u my feelings

But I just could not

U are so lucky to have more than one woman loved u

And that news just break my heart again and again

But is there any chance for me now? I wonder..

Is there any chance for u to consider me again (if u considered me before)

Dear u..

Why I  was so stupid being too afraid to tell u that I want u with all my heart

To spend the rest of my life together with u and them

I always have that picture in mind and I still have it now

Should I erase it? I should, shouldn’t I? but I don’t want

Because deep down my heart I still hope that it would happen one day

Life must goes on no matter how hard it is to face reality

How heavy and hurt every steps that I take

But I always remember to put a smile on my face, to have my chin up

Because if it meant to be it would be.

Only u, and u and u

Have u ever feel like going some where far far away to no one know you?
To the place where you are a stranger?
That no one bother about you?

I feel like it once awhile when i feel so down,so sad, so emotional.

There were times that I just need to get out from the usual crowd,
to meet someone else even for awhile like having a lunch together,
Or..a cup of coffee, or a cup of ice-cream and a book to accompany me.

It is not that hate them but if u r being with the same person everyday,
every time (virtually or f2f),
u need to 'run' a way.
Not so long, just a few hours....

It is not wrong to do that right?!

Just a space for yourself,
Do whatever you feel like to do,
Just a time for you n you n you...alone.

Dislike the post

Assalamualaikum. 

Last weekend memang our house full coz most of the siblings were here with the family. So rumah yg selalunya sunyi jadi 'havoc' dengan suara budak2 gelak. We were talking about names then my eldest niece ckp in her class ada 4 org nama AIsyah. Nurul Nur Aisyah, Nur Aisyah then ada sorang ni that her nama memang menarik perhatian because her name is Aisyah but people called her Bella budak hot. I was like 'apa, budak hot?'. The reason is because she got followers laki more than perempuan dalam twitter. So I  searched her in twitter (skodeng time..ehem..). Twitter tak private, followers berlambak almost 2000++. fuh! scroll tgk gambar, read the tweets. Basically budak ni tak tweet pun. byk tweets because of the followers statistic. Gambar byk selfie with muka ala2 comel.

Actually bukan nak cakap pasal ni but i want to write about social media. As we know Malaysian is top 5 to have social media account. so you can imagine hebat tak hebat rakyat malaysia dalam up to date pasal benda2 ni. Memang tak surprise la if budak sekolah rendah pun ada account FB, Twitter or IG. I don't mind psl tu tapi wat makes me menyampah is the pictures they posted. Selfie muka ala2 comel tu dah biasa sgt but gambar half naked. i fell sad for them,the parents. I am wondering, parents diorg tak tau ke. Pastu like 100 n mostly lelaki. Saddest part is yang liked and post gambar are Islam, melayu. And God knows if ada org yg just save our picture in their phone. Have we ever think about it? Trust me it happens. Gambar yang bertudung pun ada org nak save, gambar yang tak bertudung? Think about it please.

Sumpah, sometimes nak nangis tengok their picture especially yg kita kenal. I just pray for them, to realise that this world is more to explore, this world is fulls with cabaran, that their life is a long way to go. Another thing that makes me sad is org yg comment or likes are those yang ada blood related or best friend. Shouldn't a good friend/person tegur if they really love them? Kesian dengan parents mereka. Mereka masih muda. They have potential tapi I don't want them to be successful person tapi gaya macam ni. I have been through my teenage life and I regret few things I did. I don't want them to regret in their future like me. I pray that someone could lead them to straight path.

Takut dengan dunia sekarang. Teenagers selamber letak pictures mcm2. Dulu nak post pikir dua tiga kali even parents bukan dalam friend list. I know u didn't wear hijab but please jgn letak gambar yg nampak hampir segala-galanya. Tak manis!

At this point, I am bersyukur sebab my niece tak ada any media social account. At least she listens to her mother. I always tell her 'tak payah ada account FB ke IG ke'.

I am not married and I am afraid if I have a child, could I raise them properly? Penuh dengan kasih sayang, Islamic knowledge in this horror world? I hope I can when I have one :)

aci?

Terlalu ramai yang buat statement and tanya soalan di bawah. So this will be my script.

Aci?

P/s: some questions shouldn't be asked coz we have no answer for that.

Respek pls!

Somehow I need you to respect my feeling too....

Kaki kena gam

Tika detik jam terus bergerak,
Aku masih disini,
Tika manusia gerak ke depan,
Aku masih lagi kaku berdiri,
Tidak ke depan, tidak pula ke belakang.

Hati yang rapuh bagai berkecai taktala
Ku melihat kau dan dia,

Aku diam membisu
Tetapi hati dan perasaan ku berperang.
Lantas aku teringat

'If you are not for me, than you are not good enough for me'

Ku sujud padaMu ya Allah,
Memohon kekuatan dan keampunan,
Ku berdoa agar kau terus bahagia bersama si dia,

Usah berpaling lagi,
Akan ku mengorak langkah pergi.


01082013
1024am

Ini kalilah, Lain kalilah, Apa-apa jelah

Assalamualaikum.

I'm not sure how to start this. Ok, firstly, results GE13 semua kita dah tau and this time memang buat sejarah. Perang in social media, mass media. Tiap2 hari kat timeline either Twitter or FB mesti ada pasal election. Kalau dulu guna bendera, posters, bunting but since masyarakat Malaysia dah celik IT maka media sosial pula digunakan as medium utk berkempen. 

This post is not to comment who won or who lost in the election but the purpose I write is because I am sad/ sick of the people who commented and shared in social media. Bahasa kasar, carut-mencarut, maki-memaki. Few days before the day of election, I told my friend 'dah tak sabar nak tunggu 5 Mei 2013 sebab I just couldn't bear to read/ listen to the comments.' I don't mind people share info tapi kenapa sampai tak de adab? Mana pegi akal dan iman bila tulis and bagi statement. 

Now, after 2days, timeline still penuh dengan GE13. Demam post-GE. Statistik, pendapat/ ulasan from ahli akedemik, individu semua ade tak kisahlah from which side. I read both. I analyse and still analyzing the information. Saya tak nak tgk siapa yang tulis tp i want to know the point. 

But, this time around, timbul soal racism aka 'tsunami cina' or whatever they called it. Today (7th May 2013), Utusan Malaysia punya title front page 'Apalagi Cina mahu?' dan 'Mereka amat racis-Ali Rustam'  menimbulkan situasi tak senang. Baik for the chinese, Malay or other races. 

Sabda Nabi saw:

"Wahai manusia! Sesungguhnya tuhan kamu sama, bapa kamu sama (Adam). Ketahuilah! Tiada kelebihan orang arab ke atas 'ajam (yang bukan arab) atau 'ajam ke atas arab, atau yang berkulit merah ke atas yang berkulit hitam, atau yang berkulit hitam ke atas yang berkulit merah melainkan ketakwaan" (Riwayat Ahmad dan al- Baihaqi, dinilai hasan oleh al-Albani)

Personally I would say that mass media plays an important role to unite the Malaysian because what they published would take as a reliable source. Orang akan terima fakta tanpa buat kajian di sebaliknya. Tanyalah makcik2, pakcik2 or parents kita yang memang tak exposed to internet, what source do they have to get information? They will answer from television and newspapers mainly. Tapi kalau dah headline and ayat yang digunakan tu boleh disalahtafsir and kelak membawa kepada kehancuran, macam mana? Moreover, it came from a mainstream newspaper. I know, media ni sometimes diorang nak dapat attention so they create bombastic punya headline or manipulate what people said when being interviewed. Choose your words carefully. Dari benda yang sekecil zarah kalau disalah tafsir and disalah lapor akan jadi sebesar dinosaur tau. Dari benda yang tak da lah apa2 sangat boleh membawa kepada satu kehancuran.

Same goes with kita orang biasa. Your words can harm others and can worsen the current situation. As a muslim, saya percaya kita semua tau yang Islam cintakan keamanan, menolak racism. Kenapa mesti ada sifat macam tu dalam diri? Cukuplah maki-memaki dan membuka aib orang sebelum PRU, kenapa perlu ada episod seterusnya? 

"The media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power. Because they control the minds of the masses."- Malcom X.

Saya malu dan sedih sebab kita maki org Islam juga. (sobs!) Kita tunjuk sifat buruk kita kat bukan Islam macam mana non-Muslim nak terima agama kita? nak gunapakai undang-undang Islam? Each of us has our own part. Be honest when you do your role. 

Yang kalah stop pointing at others. Reflect yourself, what you have done wrong. Perbaiki, buat strategi balik Kalau anda memang ikhlas bertanding untuk memperbaiki negara dan agama, Allah swt akan permudahkan. Mungkin your time hasn't come. You might thing you are ready which actually you are not. Teruskan berjuang kerana perjuangan yang ikhlas dan benar akan diberi kemenangan oleh Allah swt.

Lastly, bacalah juga non-mainstream newspaper or listen to independent source supaya kita boleh tau pro and cons sesuatu benda. And if your thoughts are wrong accept, buat kajian, read more. Be matured. 

Saya seorang Muslim. Saya cintakan keamanan dan keadilan. Saya tolak racism.

Saya ada kawan cina, india dan macam2 lagi selain melayu dan saya ikhlas berkawan dengan mereka.

Maaflah jika ada yang tersinggung bila baca apa yang saya tulis ni. This is my personal view. Saya insan yang  kerdil. Banyak lagi saya tak tau. 

Yang baik itu datang dari Allah swt dan yg buruk itu dari saya sendiri.

Wassalam.

Changed

Alhamdulillah. It is all I can say when I got to know my friend starts wearing hijab. From my experiences, they had the intention long before they wearing it and I am glad that they made up their mind to wear hijab permanently. I admit, they look more beautiful. 

Maybe ada orang yg not wearing a hijab yet pikir 'I'm not good enough' or 'Ala, kalau pakai tudung tapi buat dosa juga, takde different pun'. Yes, it is true indeed. Berhijrah bukan senang especially if you are surrounded with community yang judgemental or suka cakap belakang or berkawan dengan orang yang memang tak pakai hijab. Tapi niat yang ikhlas yang baik akan dipermudahkan oleh Allah swt and honestly when you wear a hijab slowly and automatically you feel embarrassed to do all the benda yang tak elok sebab eventually you will feel that you are obligated to jaga your tatatertib and cara pemakaian. 

Family mainkan peranan penting. Give your spouse/ daughter encourage to wear it. Tak perlu nak perli2 sebab bila perli manusia akan sakit hati, bila sakit hati orang tak nak ikut. Buat rugi je. 

Honestly, when I started to wear I still wear short or 3/4 sleeves, selimpang tinggi, and ada time bila around rumah tak pakai pun. But as time past by, slowly I changed, lengan panjang, tak nak baju ketat or pendek, labuhkan tudung (tapi kadang2 terlepas jugak). I also try to control my words and perangai. 

So, tak perlulah nak pikir banyak sebab as a Muslimah we have to cover our aurah and kita masih boleh lagi berfesyen.

And yes, I feel safe when I am covered :) 

I really hope one day org yang saya sayang akan pakai hijab coz you are prettier when you wear it :)

Different Path

Salam.

Pernah tak korang terfikir yang korang akan kerja lain dari apa yang korang tengah study dulu? Mestilah takkan. How about now? Ever thinking to change your career path? I never think doing something which is not related what I studied. Never cross my mind.

But after almost 5 years working, I changed my mind. I got a friend who has degree in Science Computer and now she's working at Real Estate unit, arranging branches, new properties of the company. No related education background to what she's doing right now. Of course there is no specific reason for a person to choose different path but it has related to do with minat and kecenderungan or just because that is the only job that being offered that so they just go with the flow.

Basically I think it depends dekat minat masing2. Degree is just a stepping stone sebab if you are not interested what your doing believe me you won't enjoy your working life (part of it). If everyday you feel nak muntah to repeat the job then get out of there. But my friend said if you want to change your career path do it while you are young. How young is young? Before 30 years old and jangan pulak pegi tukar keje which is totally different except you want to make your own business or run a family business. There are works that maybe you just a need a tiny small related experiences or education or senang nak belajar that you're interested in doing. 

Think about it again :)

P/S: I still love what I am doing and I have no intention to change my path yet.