I just need to write

I have been thinking about this for the past few months and I really need to write about what I'm thinking. So, here you go....

When we chose someone to get married and be our lifetime partner there must be a reason to it. It might be because his heart/ money/ wealth/ looks or etc. For me if I choose that somebody to be my partner I don't based on his physical appearance. Honestly for me when it's about your lifetime partner it has to be beyond that.

Not everyone is perfect and we all knew it and we couldn't get the person we dream off. A guy I am with right now is not the type of person that I though I will end up with. He's an average guy who owns a 'motor kapcai', lives in a kampung (in KL) with family, doesn't care what brand is he wearing and earns less than RM5K. Though sometimes he can drives me crazy like sooooo demmmm crazy I still stick to him. Even I can't rely on him 100% though I am so desperate for a hand, I still close my option.

What I am trying to say is there must be a reason why we chose to have them as a life partner. And I chose him because he has something that nobody that I have met have. He treated me well, he knows how to handle me when I'm having life crisis, he criticised if I make any mistake, I am comfortable with him and he makes me to be a better person.

One time when I told someone that my ex-admirer is getting married and well earned, that person asked me why I didn't choose him. I said I can't. Yes, he's earning good money, educated, have good job but I am not comfortable with him and sometimes the relationship can't be more than friend (it just can't even you force it to happen).

My friend is a perfectionist but she end up with mummy little boy. Another friend who can easily get grumpy, moody end up with choosy and perfectionist. I always believe there is a reason Allah sent that person to us. To teach us how to be grateful and improve ourselves to be a better person in another word "dialah seteru kita, yg kita ingat selama ini kita memang tak suka dgn perangai org jenis mcm ini. Tapi org itulah yg ajar kita what is the meaning of life".

And me, a hot-tempered and annoying got a guy who always test my patience and from that I learn how to control my temper not only when it caused by him but also by others. I know we complement each other in some way. Someone said this to me: "itu keburukan dia dan kau kena belajar untuk terima. Dan kau juga at the same time kena belajar untuk jadi seorg penyabar. Bukan dgn dia je tapi dgn benda lain juga".

I always wonder before why you have to end up with 'kaki clubbing' or 'org yg control your every says and actions' while they know they couldn't tolerate that behaviour. There must be a reason, a reason that you couldn't express the so called X-factor (s) when you were asked. Only us and Him and also him/her (by any chance) know the real reason.

I'm not writing this to make you understand how I am feeling but at least before you judge and say, think if we are wearing the same shoes.

p/s: wealthy is not permanent. Our charity is. What we earned today is enough unless we are being ungrateful.